A few weeks and posts ago, I gave a big shoutout to my good friend Jeffrey for an eye-opening conversation that we'd had. This week, I give a big shoutout to both mine and Jeffrey's good friend Lawrence for yet another powerful and purposeful phone call. Jeff and I talked about one-size-fits-all solutions to life (or lack thereof), and Lawrence and I talked about the importance of regulating your thoughts, something many believe is outside of one's control. The theory is that with your thoughts, you gain momentum. Building momentum with the wrong mindset can hurl you full speed ahead down a destructive or undesired path, whereas building momentum with the right mindset can propel you closer to your goals, your potential, and your true self.
I had called Lawrence, full well knowing him to be a beacon of spirituality, positivity, and perspective, and informed him of my struggles: Miami's been tough. Enjoyable - yes, but tough. I wasn't meeting enough of the people I wanted to meet, doing enough of the things I wanted to do, going enough of the places I wanted to go, and so on. I was lonely, uninspired, bored, boring, and leaning into the comfort as opposed to the discomfort (big red flag). I felt like I had a personally-set standard for quality of life and either life or I had been falling short in terms of meeting expectations. I blamed life. I also blamed this city, these people, this program, this neighborhood, and every other possible scapegoat that would enable me to avoid taking responsibility for the momentum I'd gained with the wrong mindset - the wrong direction. Lawrence, however, pushed me to do what I normally know how to do, but in this case, didn't - be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.
He reminded me that I am indeed responsible for the trajectory of my thoughts, which in turn makes me responsible for gaining momentum with the right mindset. His main idea was this: this world has everything - all types of people, all types of places, all types of activities and opportunities and charming or challenging situations, depending on what the universe deems you need. Your thoughts are the key to opening and closing any or all of these doors, good or bad. That which you believe - that which you manifest - is exactly what will come back to you. Therefore if I believe that Miami = lonely, uninspired, and all too comfortable, then that's what it'll be (for me, at least). If I believe, on the contrary, that Miami is filled with intriguing people, packed full of inspiration, and a place where I can truly find challenge, rigor, and joy, then so it will be.
I took Lawrence's charge, studied up on Confirmation Bias, and got to work gaining momentum with the right mindset. I decided that Miami was all of those things I wished it to be, and crazily enough, it was. I began meeting people right away - the type of people I wanted to meet; great conversationalists with great life stories - intellectual, intuitive, and intriguing. I began running into inspiration around every corner. I began encountering the types of challenges I truly desired, the charming moments I cared to experience, and joy as a result of the combination of these new circumstances.
For example, I met Tere Blanca, "the founder, chairman, chief executive officer and president of Miami-based Blanca Commercial Real Estate, Inc." She has undeniable appetizer-picking talents, can assemble a winning team in record timing, and has a long list of awards and accomplishments stretching from my broke little apartment in little Haiti all the way to the fine-dining establishment in Brickell where I enjoyed my first ever red-velvet soufflé, her treat.
I had called Lawrence, full well knowing him to be a beacon of spirituality, positivity, and perspective, and informed him of my struggles: Miami's been tough. Enjoyable - yes, but tough. I wasn't meeting enough of the people I wanted to meet, doing enough of the things I wanted to do, going enough of the places I wanted to go, and so on. I was lonely, uninspired, bored, boring, and leaning into the comfort as opposed to the discomfort (big red flag). I felt like I had a personally-set standard for quality of life and either life or I had been falling short in terms of meeting expectations. I blamed life. I also blamed this city, these people, this program, this neighborhood, and every other possible scapegoat that would enable me to avoid taking responsibility for the momentum I'd gained with the wrong mindset - the wrong direction. Lawrence, however, pushed me to do what I normally know how to do, but in this case, didn't - be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.
He reminded me that I am indeed responsible for the trajectory of my thoughts, which in turn makes me responsible for gaining momentum with the right mindset. His main idea was this: this world has everything - all types of people, all types of places, all types of activities and opportunities and charming or challenging situations, depending on what the universe deems you need. Your thoughts are the key to opening and closing any or all of these doors, good or bad. That which you believe - that which you manifest - is exactly what will come back to you. Therefore if I believe that Miami = lonely, uninspired, and all too comfortable, then that's what it'll be (for me, at least). If I believe, on the contrary, that Miami is filled with intriguing people, packed full of inspiration, and a place where I can truly find challenge, rigor, and joy, then so it will be.
I took Lawrence's charge, studied up on Confirmation Bias, and got to work gaining momentum with the right mindset. I decided that Miami was all of those things I wished it to be, and crazily enough, it was. I began meeting people right away - the type of people I wanted to meet; great conversationalists with great life stories - intellectual, intuitive, and intriguing. I began running into inspiration around every corner. I began encountering the types of challenges I truly desired, the charming moments I cared to experience, and joy as a result of the combination of these new circumstances.
For example, I met Tere Blanca, "the founder, chairman, chief executive officer and president of Miami-based Blanca Commercial Real Estate, Inc." She has undeniable appetizer-picking talents, can assemble a winning team in record timing, and has a long list of awards and accomplishments stretching from my broke little apartment in little Haiti all the way to the fine-dining establishment in Brickell where I enjoyed my first ever red-velvet soufflé, her treat.
Just a week or so after her, I met another City Year Board Member - Patty Cornish (feat. below in the snazzy black dress), her husband Tom (striking red cardigan), and their lovely 13 year old son. We enjoyed some seemingly-authentic Italian food (but what do I know?) and discussed the life stories/life strategies of the wise and wealthy. Tom had grown up in one of the schools that City Year Miami serves in. His story, filled with perspective on poverty and education, re-energized me and reminded me of the delay (not absence) of impact in the work I'm doing as part of City Year. My favorite part of this dinner, however, was finding out that he and his wife both met and fell in love at the intersection of their life philosophies. Courage was the name of their game. In any single lifetime, they explained, there will be 4 or 5 immensely defining moments - moments that will alter the course of your life forever, and in big ways. These moments almost always result from a willingness to invest 10 to 20 seconds of good ol' courage into the opportunity that lies in front of you. Sometimes courage works and sometimes it doesn't, but the times it doesn't will quickly come and go. The times it does will likely define your future. They met by means of an outrageously courageous phone call. They fell in love by means of a wildly courageous marriage proposal. I took note - mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, and got to work on some upcoming power moves of mine.
On a high from meeting such great people, I'd also started noticing the greatness in someone I'd already met. His story is unbelievable, but what an honor to be the one person in Miami who's heard it. This friend of mine came to the US, Seattle specifically, from Venezuela as a 17 year old boy, looking to get drafted for baseball. He did. His talent was raw, but somehow very polished, and though he signed for only $3500, he quickly started winning an unparalleled amount of performance-based monetary awards. Around this time period, he got married - bought a nice big house, some fancy cars, and an array of other "wealthy people things" - simply because he could. After a while, (and I'm still not clear on this part of the story), his wife kicked him out and cut off his access to all of their wealth. He was alone in the US, his entire family back in Venezuela. He was his own support and his own friend, neither of which had the money or the means to keep him going. He became homeless, ill, severely underweight - woke up in the hospital a few times after being found unresponsive in the streets. That was his life - sad, lonely, and opportunity-less, until some Cuban guys on a road trip found him and brought him all the way here to Miami. Here, he was still homeless, but had more opportunity as a poor, Latino man looking for work. Now - here's the crazy part. We met at a spot in downtown Miami called Bayside, at a little outdoor bar with great salsa music. We shared views on dancing and had a lot in common. After a full night of back-to-back showstoppers, we sat and learned about each other. He told me the story that lead up to that point, and then pointed to a nearby park.
He explained that when he was homeless here in Miami, that's where he slept. He would use the little bit of money he did have to get haircuts and stay clean, and ditched all his possessions except his nice clothes. He would leave his little corner of the park each night and go to Bayside - to the exact bar at which we met.
He danced with people, made friends, networked, and enjoyed life, none of those people ever knowing he was homeless and sleeping outside 100 yards away. He found some gigs there; made some money and got himself back on his feet. To this day, he goes back to that bar, dances with the regulars and mingles with the wait staff, none of which know his story. He recently got a new job that provides housing but it's up in West Palm Beach. He moved, but comes back to Miami every week or two. This past weekend, while in town, (I kid you not), he asked me to marry him. He explained that he'd invested in some startups while he was wealthy way back when, and that his returns were about to pay out. He needed to divorce his wife (still in Seattle), but couldn't do so with all that money sitting in his account. He asked me not only to hold the money, but to marry him until his baseball career takes off again and provides him with papers. An amazing story that's still far from over, and it's a crazy feeling to be sitting here in the middle of it all.
Aside from all those wild encounters with amazing people and even more amazing stories, however, I must say, the bus is a wonderful way to meet interesting people. For example, the Jamaican man with the thickest accent I'd ever heard, so seriously trying to convince me that he lived his whole life in Jersey and that was an accent that everyone in Jersey had. Or the Nebraskan man who sat on the bus chomping on a block of aged cheddar cheese, smiling ear to ear while trying out some pick up lines on my friends and I. Or the homeless man that I'd been seeing upwards of 5 times a week for the last 3 months. When my friends were here for Spring Break, I told them that if we ran into him, I wanted all of us to take him out to lunch and hear his story. It didn't work, but yesterday at Dunkin' Donuts, over a Big & Toasted and some 79 cent hashbrowns, I finally heard it.
Then there was the out-of-left-field all-affirming presentation I attended at a nearby motel called "The Vagabond". The speaker, Avra Jain, was a self-made and well-known female Real Estate Developer here in Miami. She kept dropping terms like "passion projects" and "moonlighting" and "speaking people's language". She sure was speaking mine. I was hyper-attentive, taking notes at the speed of light and staring down the barrel of a world in which all of my same idealistic and outlandish North Stars actually worked; actually guided this woman to a rigorous, fulfilling, and joyful life. Sure enough, her message was similar to Tom and Patty Cornish's above: courage, also known in the business world as "risk".
Aside from all those wild encounters with amazing people and even more amazing stories, however, I must say, the bus is a wonderful way to meet interesting people. For example, the Jamaican man with the thickest accent I'd ever heard, so seriously trying to convince me that he lived his whole life in Jersey and that was an accent that everyone in Jersey had. Or the Nebraskan man who sat on the bus chomping on a block of aged cheddar cheese, smiling ear to ear while trying out some pick up lines on my friends and I. Or the homeless man that I'd been seeing upwards of 5 times a week for the last 3 months. When my friends were here for Spring Break, I told them that if we ran into him, I wanted all of us to take him out to lunch and hear his story. It didn't work, but yesterday at Dunkin' Donuts, over a Big & Toasted and some 79 cent hashbrowns, I finally heard it.
Then there was the out-of-left-field all-affirming presentation I attended at a nearby motel called "The Vagabond". The speaker, Avra Jain, was a self-made and well-known female Real Estate Developer here in Miami. She kept dropping terms like "passion projects" and "moonlighting" and "speaking people's language". She sure was speaking mine. I was hyper-attentive, taking notes at the speed of light and staring down the barrel of a world in which all of my same idealistic and outlandish North Stars actually worked; actually guided this woman to a rigorous, fulfilling, and joyful life. Sure enough, her message was similar to Tom and Patty Cornish's above: courage, also known in the business world as "risk".
On the way out of the presentation, after finally figuring out whose facial structure was so reminiscent of hers (Caitlin Jenner), we met two more Vagabond men - James and Fernando - both very kind, personable, and good salesmen. They sold us on returning Saturday night, which we did, with a crowd.
The pace of my day-to-day really begin to pick up when I started looking for Miami to be what I wanted it to be, thinking along those lines, gaining momentum with the right mindset. I noticed that this shift was was occurring in all areas of my life, even with my middle schoolers. I started really connecting with my kids at school over "irrelevant" things like HTML coding, absurdly colorful sea animals, intelligence vs. diligence and what schools truly test for, and productive apps to be distracted by in class, ex. Duolingo. As I invested more into my lesson plans, I saw the kids really shift in their critical thinking levels, to the point where one student raised their hand and said "I have an idea!", then blurted out a completely next-level, high order thinking concept that blew my mind. They're gaining momentum with the right mindset, just like I finally am.
And to top it all off, I was walking to the bus stop this weekend on a routinely reflective journey to Taco Bell when I saw a dozen cops coming at me from all angles. There was nothing going on around me and I sure hadn't done anything (even said no to the marriage proposal), so I was confused as to what was happening. I noticed that the police had begun to block off traffic, and once it was stopped, one officer shouted "Alright, let 'em through!" From behind a big black 18 wheeler emerged a never-ending sea of cyclists. I saw every type of person in that crowd -- everything from puny, pudgy people riding prehistoric trikes to neighborhood kids popping permanent wheelies; fitness freaks with the best and brightest to homebound hippies with speaker systems built into curious coolers that they dragged behind their bikes. Cyclists! So oddly specific to me after having just completed that cross-country bike ride. And how peculiar that they ride the same route, every Friday, right past my house, and yet I'd never once seen them until now. Thousands and thousands of people that day played a role in life, God, the universe - whatever it was - affirming that which I newly chose to believe - that Miami and this world are what I believe them to be.
The pace of my day-to-day really begin to pick up when I started looking for Miami to be what I wanted it to be, thinking along those lines, gaining momentum with the right mindset. I noticed that this shift was was occurring in all areas of my life, even with my middle schoolers. I started really connecting with my kids at school over "irrelevant" things like HTML coding, absurdly colorful sea animals, intelligence vs. diligence and what schools truly test for, and productive apps to be distracted by in class, ex. Duolingo. As I invested more into my lesson plans, I saw the kids really shift in their critical thinking levels, to the point where one student raised their hand and said "I have an idea!", then blurted out a completely next-level, high order thinking concept that blew my mind. They're gaining momentum with the right mindset, just like I finally am.
And to top it all off, I was walking to the bus stop this weekend on a routinely reflective journey to Taco Bell when I saw a dozen cops coming at me from all angles. There was nothing going on around me and I sure hadn't done anything (even said no to the marriage proposal), so I was confused as to what was happening. I noticed that the police had begun to block off traffic, and once it was stopped, one officer shouted "Alright, let 'em through!" From behind a big black 18 wheeler emerged a never-ending sea of cyclists. I saw every type of person in that crowd -- everything from puny, pudgy people riding prehistoric trikes to neighborhood kids popping permanent wheelies; fitness freaks with the best and brightest to homebound hippies with speaker systems built into curious coolers that they dragged behind their bikes. Cyclists! So oddly specific to me after having just completed that cross-country bike ride. And how peculiar that they ride the same route, every Friday, right past my house, and yet I'd never once seen them until now. Thousands and thousands of people that day played a role in life, God, the universe - whatever it was - affirming that which I newly chose to believe - that Miami and this world are what I believe them to be.
Moral of the story: confirmation bias is real. We come to a conclusion and then look for information to confirm it. Instead of trying to change the world around you, simply change what it is you're trying to confirm, and from my experience, the world will do the rest. Two weeks ago, Miami was lonely, uninspiring, and comfortable, but now it's rich in people, places, opportunities, challenges, and joy.
I really feel that I've lived up to the title of this blog the past few weeks, that I'm truly RaisingTheBarr, and it's a great feeling. Thank you for reading and sharing this post! Go out there and attack this week, gaining momentum with the right mindset!
I really feel that I've lived up to the title of this blog the past few weeks, that I'm truly RaisingTheBarr, and it's a great feeling. Thank you for reading and sharing this post! Go out there and attack this week, gaining momentum with the right mindset!