I tend to take Oprah's many product recommendations with a grain of salt, as would most, that is until I hear someone else raving about them. Just a few weeks back in the earlier stages of my City Year training, one of the Impact Managers made reference to a particular book, The Alchemist, that had "shattered" his reality and changed his entire world. If this book could change his life and it could change Oprah's life, then ignoring the basic laws of probability, there was a great chance that it could change mine. With my mind set but my finances tight, I've settled for reading passages from the book off Google until my next paycheck hits. One passage stood out against the others.
"When each day is the same as the next, it's because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises." My initial reaction is too completely agree with this statement. My secondary reaction is to cringe at the use of what is possibly the blandest, most nondescript adjective ever invented and known to the English language: "good". I try never to use this word to describe my day, my state of being, or something I've taken a liking to, and I try always to ask follow up questions when people use this word with me. So, as I sit here on my marvelous new mattress, studying this captivating collection of words, I'm substituting all the many terms that would keep this quote true, yet broaden its scope and its power. This week was one in which no two days felt even remotely the same, despite being in the same place with the same people doing relatively the same thing. Everyone seems to think that my life is unusually eventful and uncommonly packed with great stories, but I've come to the conclusion that I don't live a life that is exponentially more interesting than the lives of those around me, but rather, that I pay an unparalleled amount of attention to the "good things that happen ... every day that the sun rises." |
And when I say the "good things", I mean the refreshing things - the charming, entertaining, and moving things; the challenging things, the shocking things, the motivating, affirming, and energizing things - all the little things that occur day in and day out that make a day unique. Perhaps not so much memorable, but never less integral. When we don't pay attention to these "good things" - don't tell stories about these good things, ask questions about these good things, find common themes and then learn from these good things - our days blend together and our liveliness gets rusty, not for lack of excitement, but for lack of acknowledgement.
The mere act of recognizing these "good things" is what makes me find my life to be (and possibly makes some of you find my life to be) so charming, so entertaining, so thrilling, so captivating, so empowering, so moving - so "good". I'd like to share some of my week's "good things", and demonstrate how, had I paid no attention to these tiny details, I could've simply summed my week up as "good" and moved right on into another lackluster lump of five sequential days.
The CHARMING:
The mere act of recognizing these "good things" is what makes me find my life to be (and possibly makes some of you find my life to be) so charming, so entertaining, so thrilling, so captivating, so empowering, so moving - so "good". I'd like to share some of my week's "good things", and demonstrate how, had I paid no attention to these tiny details, I could've simply summed my week up as "good" and moved right on into another lackluster lump of five sequential days.
The CHARMING:
- My cool cousin Colin was in town. We made plans to go to dinner at some restaurant I'd been meaning to try out. He called with a slight change in plans, which included two creative Korean men, a quick stop at an art gallery, and a different restaurant that would be totally worth it. We ended up at an incredible Asian Fusion restaurant named Kyu, which coincidentally happened to be the name of older Korean man (featured below.) Turns out he's a talented artist, once awarded the Key to the City of Miami for his work. Between his status and our group-wide ability to charm our server, we scored Kyu a hat with his name on it, donated right off the head of the manager on duty. (Also note: best Cauliflower I've ever had.)
- There's a brand new student at the middle school I work at, straight from Cuba. His first day was my first day, and we built a quick bond over being equally lost and new. He knows no English, but every time I see him, he tells me a couple of the new words he's learned in English. He's the tiniest, most charming little guy, has a stellar hair cut, and a real determination about him. I'm excited to see this year play out for him.
- I happened to be at Burger King one day and overheard one of the workers talk about her interview for a new job at Macy's. She also happened to be incredibly recognizable. I happened to see her out in public, and I happen to love talking to strangers. I stopped her and asked if she'd gotten the job, and she squealed with excitement, saying how cool it was that I remembered the details of a stranger's life. She got the job!!
ENTERTAINING:
- This past Friday at school, there was an afternoon dance. We watched in amazement at how quickly the students divided into their very distinct social groups. All the so-called "geeks" were in a corner for a while, huddled up in a circle as if they were making a game plan. After about 30 minutes, they emerged from the secret session, moved right to the center of the room, and began dancing horribly, but have the time of their lives. It was so much fun just watching them, I can only imagine how enjoyable it was to actually be them.
- As students get off the busses and head into school, we do what we call "Power Greeting" - a set of chants and cheers that are supposed to entertain and get the energy up for the day. We have one particular teammate who's been quoting a video that's been trending on the internet recently, constantly saying "with a dab of ranch, with a dab of ranch." There are a set of power greetings that we routinely used, but in lieu of current events, we made up a new one, rhyming the students uniform piece, "black pants", with the popular phrase, "a dab of ranch."
- Perhaps the most entertaining thing we'd experienced all week: a severely heavy set women with a horrible wig and inability to match clothing got on the bus one evening, shouting endlessly and uncontrollably about how she "doesn't smoke crack". She looked a teammate of mine dead in the eyes for about 15 seconds, explaining that she likes "the stuff that grows, not the stuff that blows" (whatever that means.) The bus took off just as she took a step, and her weight shifted at lightning speed, away from her center of gravity and onto my lap. Still yapping, she eventually realized that I was wedged underneath her, stopped herself in her tracks, and said "Ooooh girl, let me sit on this lap!" The entire bus was rolling with laughter while still slightly in shock, waiting to see how the rest played out. I would've helped her up, but my hands were pinned down beneath her weight. I had to use the gift of gab to direct to a "better seat" a few rows behind me. My teammates, to say the least, were pleased they didn't choose to Uber home that day. I washed my hands twice upon arriving home.
EYE-OPENING:
- In a brief history lesson about the school I'm at for the duration of the year, I learned that the building was built to be either a prison or a school. I'd studied up briefly on the School to Prison Pipeline, but I'd never seen such a clear display of their proximity. All the classroom doors lack windows. There seem to be as many security guards as there are teachers. All the kids have to have backpacks made of clear plastic, and the police are all-too-familiar with the students. Everyone seems to live in survival mode. Trust is not an underlying value. A lot of people have lost faith in hope or change and have accepted things as they are. There's a general air of negativity, despite an impressive display of excellence on behalf of many of the teachers. My definition of a "school" is evolving before my own eyes, something I never realized I'd never seen until now.
- Having what we'd call "skin privilege", I'm immediately the enemy. I "can't relate", I "can't hang", and though I can help, it's not wanted. My first day, I had a kid come up to me and say "I know you don't know this song because you be listenin' to that Arianna Grande sh*t, ain't you?" I have even more of a mountain to climb with these kids who don't want help, let alone help from a white person. Even more so than the college kids who'd administered these bogus social tests in attempts to rip me away from the Latin identity that I'd hoped to grow into, these kids need absolute proof that I can relate before giving me even a single shot at making any progress with them, their grades, and their futures.
REFRESHING:
- I spent some good phone-time with a bunch of people from back home and from Bentley, catching up on life, exchanging our most recent breakthroughs, and sharing stories.
- Five different friends and relatives confirmed their plane tickets to Miami! I'm stoked to see all the familiar faces and show these people my new life.
- I'm finally in a world full of non-business people. We weren't all taught the same skills and perspectives as our immediate peers. It's refreshing to be in a place where I can contribute an understanding of things like Professional Development and Personal Branding, but other people can contribute perspective grounded in psychology, medicine, law, or civics. Good conversations have already ensued, and I can imagine they'll only continue.
- Solidified my reflection spot @ Morningside Park on Sunday afternoons. It's one of the many scenic places I go to think about life, journal, review my week and adjust my goals.
AFFIRMING:
- I received a phone call explaining that Stanford University is going to be hosting a conference towards the end of February in Philadelphia, that they'd seen my Ted Talk and wanted me, of all people, to be their keynote speaker. They were supposedly looking for someone young with a spirit of innovation and liked what they saw. It's a great gig - all expenses paid - and a weekend that I get to spend with my brother!
- I've spent a lot of time doodling lately, especially when trying to listen to presentations or think hard about something important. A lot of people have been commenting on my doodles and even asking if they can have a page out of my doodle book. Someone recently told me that I should consider making an adult coloring book out of them, so I've decided to take this on as a new life project and 2017 Bucketlist item. I'm excited!
I could go on and on forever, but perhaps in this case, less is more. Moral of the story - "good things" are happening, everywhere and often. Look for them, share them, question them, laugh about them. And if you start to notice that each day is the same as the last, you'll know you're not looking hard enough.
In the meantime, I'll be here patiently awaiting my copy of The Alchemist (and my Food Stamps - still starving!)
Have a great week full of "good things", and I'll be back next Monday with some more life to share!
In the meantime, I'll be here patiently awaiting my copy of The Alchemist (and my Food Stamps - still starving!)
Have a great week full of "good things", and I'll be back next Monday with some more life to share!