A few weeks back, I spent an eye-opening hour of my life walking laps around my action-less apartment complex and solving the world's problems over the phone with my dear friend, Jeffrey. Alone, I covered a lot of ground, and together, we covered a lot content. I learned a lot that night (little does he know), one of the largest things being this: "one man's trash is another man's treasure" applies to more than garage sales and our bi-monthly Design Place dumpster dive. It applies to life strategies as well. On this particular night, I was dishing out advice like an advice-dishing machine and was humbled to hear that while the effort put into the advice was appreciated, the advice itself wasn't consistent with who he is or the goals he has. The strategies I've used to fix or improve upon my own life aren't guaranteed to fix or improve upon others lives, something I promise I did not realize until taking this fascinating phone call.
This realization hit me. Hard. I went back and read a lot of past posts, noticing just how ignorant I was to this important piece of information. I was tempted to delete everything and start anew, posting with increased humility and decreased preachiness, but eventually decided against it. After all, it displays progress. This also made me question if the life strategies everyone else preaches are guaranteed to fix my life. My conclusion: nope. I pondered which of these "guaranteed" well-known life strategies are cramping my style and killing my vibe, and I settled on a few, many of which I've long rejected, but some of which I've never noticed, the most prominent one being "balance".
Everything about me contradicts the principle of balance. I hate the idea of distributing my attention, my time, and my effort "equally" amongst the different aspects of my life. I reject the notion that this is what will help me to "remain upright" or "maintain steadiness". It is in my nature to run on enthusiasm and curiosity, to follow hard (though strategically) after what has most recently sparked my interest, and I know, deep down AND on the surface, that this will never be a clean room, a sufficient number of hours asleep, or "much needed" time alone. I've been trying out this balance thing every since I moved to Miami, having not previously thought to reject it. I've spent many nights at home, doing laundry, being fiscally responsible, tidying up around the house, spending that "much needed" alone time, and going to bed early. You'd think I'd be refreshed upon waking up the next morning, but in reality, I wake up exhausted, this being because I did nothing the day before that energized me even a single bit.
Once I caught on to this idea that one man's treasure is another man's trash, I threw "balance" out the window and threw a quote on my wall from one of my favorite authors, Rob Kiyosaki.
This realization hit me. Hard. I went back and read a lot of past posts, noticing just how ignorant I was to this important piece of information. I was tempted to delete everything and start anew, posting with increased humility and decreased preachiness, but eventually decided against it. After all, it displays progress. This also made me question if the life strategies everyone else preaches are guaranteed to fix my life. My conclusion: nope. I pondered which of these "guaranteed" well-known life strategies are cramping my style and killing my vibe, and I settled on a few, many of which I've long rejected, but some of which I've never noticed, the most prominent one being "balance".
Everything about me contradicts the principle of balance. I hate the idea of distributing my attention, my time, and my effort "equally" amongst the different aspects of my life. I reject the notion that this is what will help me to "remain upright" or "maintain steadiness". It is in my nature to run on enthusiasm and curiosity, to follow hard (though strategically) after what has most recently sparked my interest, and I know, deep down AND on the surface, that this will never be a clean room, a sufficient number of hours asleep, or "much needed" time alone. I've been trying out this balance thing every since I moved to Miami, having not previously thought to reject it. I've spent many nights at home, doing laundry, being fiscally responsible, tidying up around the house, spending that "much needed" alone time, and going to bed early. You'd think I'd be refreshed upon waking up the next morning, but in reality, I wake up exhausted, this being because I did nothing the day before that energized me even a single bit.
Once I caught on to this idea that one man's treasure is another man's trash, I threw "balance" out the window and threw a quote on my wall from one of my favorite authors, Rob Kiyosaki.
I lived one week of my life (though in reality, I've lived most of them this way) fiercely rejecting balance. I spent money I "shouldn't have", went out at "unreasonable hours", did things I wouldn't normally do, and loved every second of it. I realized that I'd been pursuing balance at the cost of having great stories to tell, at the cost of making people's day, at the cost of realizing what a "small world" it is, at the cost of great company, at the cost of good conversation, and the cost of spontaneity, at the cost of almost everything that I love and live for. I waved goodbye to balance and ended up having the kind of week I'd gladly relive for the rest of my life.
First off, I was in good company. I had friends visiting for Spring Break, and to an extent, I took on their "We're in Miami!" mentality and justified the absence of balance. We had outrageous conversations with our Uber drivers, made friends with waitresses and strangers with cool dogs (who we later ran into at the pool and the club), changed plans at the drop of a hat and slept a whole lot less than normal. We explored a whole lot, found a doozie of thirft store, but also a gnarly record shop and a nearby Cuban restaurant with colorful benches that are begging to be sat on. We then prioritized Truffles over groceries, dropping a wad of cash on cream cheese and single-stuffed Oreos to fulfill a promise I'd made two whole months ago. Remember when I told those women in the leasing office I'd give them dessert in return for their generosity? Well, I finally did, and In typical Miami fashion, they kissed me passionately on the cheek, told me I made their week, and begged me to open an on-site bakery.
I then did something I've been purposely not doing - went out on a "school night". The lovely Sarah Egner was in town, so how could I not? We met in Wynwood (where she took great pictures and I did not) for a couple of burgers and some deep, meaningful dialogue. We enjoyed our time, but felt we hadn't spent enough, so we took the opportunity, when it presented itself, to hop aboard a strange little car that claimed to be a "free ride" around Wynwood. If it weren't for the easy access to the outside world and the wildly dynamic driver/tour guide, I likely wouldn't have been quick to jump right in, but after 30 momentous minutes in that car, I want everything to do with that company. The underlying idea is brilliant, strategic, sustainable, and innovative, and I'm all about it. Mark my words!
First off, I was in good company. I had friends visiting for Spring Break, and to an extent, I took on their "We're in Miami!" mentality and justified the absence of balance. We had outrageous conversations with our Uber drivers, made friends with waitresses and strangers with cool dogs (who we later ran into at the pool and the club), changed plans at the drop of a hat and slept a whole lot less than normal. We explored a whole lot, found a doozie of thirft store, but also a gnarly record shop and a nearby Cuban restaurant with colorful benches that are begging to be sat on. We then prioritized Truffles over groceries, dropping a wad of cash on cream cheese and single-stuffed Oreos to fulfill a promise I'd made two whole months ago. Remember when I told those women in the leasing office I'd give them dessert in return for their generosity? Well, I finally did, and In typical Miami fashion, they kissed me passionately on the cheek, told me I made their week, and begged me to open an on-site bakery.
I then did something I've been purposely not doing - went out on a "school night". The lovely Sarah Egner was in town, so how could I not? We met in Wynwood (where she took great pictures and I did not) for a couple of burgers and some deep, meaningful dialogue. We enjoyed our time, but felt we hadn't spent enough, so we took the opportunity, when it presented itself, to hop aboard a strange little car that claimed to be a "free ride" around Wynwood. If it weren't for the easy access to the outside world and the wildly dynamic driver/tour guide, I likely wouldn't have been quick to jump right in, but after 30 momentous minutes in that car, I want everything to do with that company. The underlying idea is brilliant, strategic, sustainable, and innovative, and I'm all about it. Mark my words!
Friday came and went, and though my previously "balanced" Miami life urged me to stay in on Friday night, I opted out. I went with Sarah & friends to an incredibly popular bar (something I never do) called Wood Tavern. It far exceeded every expectation I have. The scenery was excellent, the music wasn't too loud, and even the bathrooms were cool. Everyone was chill and down to earth (it appeared) and the average Spring Breaker didn't completely kill the energy in the room. The Miami men seemed a bit blown away by the blonde beauties and asian cuties that I was sitting at the table with. A bunch of them attempted to earn a seat at the table over the course of night. The most interesting of them all, however, was a stocky Asian dude with a strange nervousness to him. I initially anticipated he was nervous to be talking to these girls, but in reality, he was approaching us to offer $5 cash if he could write Yelp reviews of his new air condition company from our accounts. I must say, it was a strange request, but very well executed. I walked away with $0 in profit that night, because you needed an account 3 months or older for "credibility's sake". A bummer, but I promised to meet him back at that same bar 3 months from that day. We'll see.
In between all of these major events, I met a European women who'd just gotten back from a trip to Barranquilla, giving presentations at the school that my host sister attended throughout her entire childhood. I also spent a night at the beach with my teammates, foolishly making a fire out of charcoal blocks, eating S'mores covered in sand, and having to squeeze through a fence because we broke the rules and stayed past closing. I also managed to track down a Giant Cupcake pan, touch base with my co-planner for Olivia's Wedding Shower, pass on my passion for the Ask-It-Basket, dig a bunch of awesome furniture out of the dumpster (and then run alongside the car keeping it from falling off the top), soak up some sun and start a new book, eat an authentic Dominican meal, teach a toddler how to "baby high five", Face Time my sister's dog, hydrate a homeless woman, produce posters for Pi Day like an animal, catch up with an old college friend, and most importantly, wish my mother a very Happy Birthday.
I did all this without barely realizing that my laundry got done, I slept enough, and my bank account looks mighty fine. With that said, and as you could probably guess, I'm ditching "balance" until further notice. For me, balance is trash, but for you, it may be treasure. My lesson in all this is to trust what drives you and invest in what brings you to life, because when you do, no load of laundry will feel more important than what you're up to, and no lack of sleep could trump the energy you'll feel for the immense possibilities that your day may hold.
Stay tuned next week to see where this new life choice has taken me and if I decided to start up the Design Place bakery after all. Thanks for reading. Attack the day with enthusiasm and a lack of balance (if that works for you!)
I did all this without barely realizing that my laundry got done, I slept enough, and my bank account looks mighty fine. With that said, and as you could probably guess, I'm ditching "balance" until further notice. For me, balance is trash, but for you, it may be treasure. My lesson in all this is to trust what drives you and invest in what brings you to life, because when you do, no load of laundry will feel more important than what you're up to, and no lack of sleep could trump the energy you'll feel for the immense possibilities that your day may hold.
Stay tuned next week to see where this new life choice has taken me and if I decided to start up the Design Place bakery after all. Thanks for reading. Attack the day with enthusiasm and a lack of balance (if that works for you!)