Considering I was just one of the many people in line to read the same copy of Bill Connolly’s book, I spent some time this week finishing it up. I loved it. Highly recommend. I took a lot of notes in the form of advice or points to think more on, but one particular section left me with a question. One of the tips that Bill mentions as a way to reach mental success (as opposed to material success) is to Achieve Value; to determine your core values and then make sure you're acting in ways that meet these values. I was left wondering if I could quantify my values - if I could make a comprehensive list and then assess how often I act in accordance with them. I whipped out my bright-colored paper, got to brainstorming, and came up with a list of seven. Note: these values are very specific to me, worded in ways that I would naturally word them or in ways that quickly evoke personal meaning & understanding.
Also note: I have more than these 7 values, as do most of us, but these were the values that I felt were very prevalent in my life and those that I was especially proud to claim as my own.
Also note: I have more than these 7 values, as do most of us, but these were the values that I felt were very prevalent in my life and those that I was especially proud to claim as my own.
- Novelty | I’m overly enthused by things that are new or unusual in interesting ways. This applies to the way I spend my time, the things I spend my money on, and even the objects you’ll find in my apartment. This is the value that causes me to prefer a cross-country bike ride over an internship or a cardboard coffee table over a real one. I always strive to have a great story to tell about the chapters, people, and things that I welcome into my life.
- Campaigning | I always say that "Enthusiasm is my fuel." At any and every given moment, I'm excited about something, most often many things, and it seems I always have a lengthy list of projects to be working on. I call this value “campaigning” because I tend to walk around and talk to people about my projects, prefering those in which other people can get excited and involved. This value (and behavior) of mine actually earned me the nickname "Wal-Mart Greeter"... talking to people I don't need to be talking to.
- Cógela Suave | This is a phrase that I picked up during my time abroad in Barranquilla. It’s the Colombian equivalent of “take it easy”, though they tend to be better at taking their own advice and chilling out once in a while. This value is the one that allows me to take life with a grain of salt, laughing now at things we tend to say we’ll “laugh later” about.
- Recognizing & Developing Potential | This value defines what I feel I was put on this earth to do; recognize potential in places that others don’t see it and develop that potential using the skills, systems, and chunks of wisdom I’ve collected over time. This is the value that causes me to be opportunistic, to explore the unintended applications of items and systems, and to find more passion & purpose being in environments and communities that aren’t fully developed yet.
- Constant Creation | “Making nothing out of something” is one of my favorite pastimes. I constantly seek out opportunities to transform blank canvases into works of art, taking the form of everything from a page in a coloring book to an empty bedroom that desperately needs décor.
- Being/ Being In Killer Company | As a big people-person, I’m continuously striving not only to be in good company, but also to be good company to those around me. I’m constantly quality-checking my relationships and looking for ways to collaboratively add more value.
- Having A Peculiar Perspective | By nature, I’m a real thinker; not in the MBTI sense (shout out to all the Myers Briggs T’s out there), but in the sense that my brain is probably my favorite organ and I’d feel empty without it. I love being able to offer up a unique perspective and curious but convincing conclusions on things I’ve spent time thinking about. This is the value that leads me to enjoy being around people who think differently than I do and prefer perspective conversations over principled ones.
So, there you have it. I figured out some of my values. My question was about whether or not I was actively “achieving my values” in my regular life. I used this past week as a snapshot and thought about what I did to meet those values of mine.
In terms of novelty, I came up with a bunch of examples.
- Found a “Free Library” in someone’s front yard. Took a book to read and donated a few of my own to the collection.
- Tacked the random map of Europe to our living room wall even though I’ve never once been to Europe and none of my Top 20 Trips-To-Take had anything to do with Europe. We ended up using sticky notes to mark where all of our friends are studying abroad right now, converting the mysterious map to a double-novelty.
- Made sure to have at least one novel goal on my list of daily goals, ex. Winning us some new boards in Mario Kart Wii, finding a neighbor to share their wifi with us, or making cookies for a friend to replace the ones that I burnt last week in their rinky-dink dorm oven.
Campaigning was also a big one for me. This whole really rare post-business school lifestyle is something that other Bentley kids have gotten excited about. They’ve gotten in on the action by contributing ideas, time, lots of furniture, and even (this is a good one) a month’s worth of free bagels from Panera.
Constant Creation is always one of my favorites. This week I colored a few coloring pages, worked diligently on my dream board, wrote quite a few letters on self-made stationary, did a little re-decorating while my roommate was away, and even made some travel-inspired décor for my friend, Kathrine and her exchange-roommate from Madrid.
One particular Cojela Suave moments stands out to me this week. I was on a walk a few miles from my apartment when a giant monsoon seemed to hit the Greater Boston area all at once. I had about a 20-30 minute walk home, uphill in the pouring rain when, quite obviously, gravity causes the water to run downhill, and at a rapid pace I might add. I laughed when I felt the first drop. I laughed as cars drove by me, likely feeling bad for me while I was busy having a great time. I laughed when I got home and my roommate watched me ring out my clothes in the doorway. I laughed a lot that day. I took that moment with a grain of salt and it made the moment ten times more charming than it was annoying.
This week was full of Being/Being In Killer Company with many impromptu hangouts, pre-planned walks & talks, friend-fam dinners and the Labor Day cook-in that replaced the originally planned cook-out. I even got to spend an afternoon with my mentor (Justin Woodard, best man alive) eating processed Panera food and then picking fresh peppers from his garden for the sake of some much-needed contrast.
This week, our apartment witnessed some real brilliance and recognized some intense potential. In a moment of necessity, we made a sandwich in a slightly unusual way. It only took a few seconds of reflection to realize that we were sitting on a gold mine. We’ve been calling it the Top Secret Sandwich Project, not filling anyone in on what’s so bizarrely brilliant about it, but consuming an unhealthy amount of this same sandwich with incremental changes made, thus performing tests and developing the potential of this scrumptious sandwich.
Another major moment of potential this week: I was on the phone with my little sister who is conveniently doing the same thing with her life as I’m doing with mine, only in NYC and four years early. In discussing the crazy similarities between what we were doing and the large number of young people who’d love to be doing this too, we decided on weekly Skype dates that would be recorded, edited, and transformed into a documentary entitled Gap Year. I can’t wait to see it take off.
Another major moment of potential this week: I was on the phone with my little sister who is conveniently doing the same thing with her life as I’m doing with mine, only in NYC and four years early. In discussing the crazy similarities between what we were doing and the large number of young people who’d love to be doing this too, we decided on weekly Skype dates that would be recorded, edited, and transformed into a documentary entitled Gap Year. I can’t wait to see it take off.
And last but not least, Having a Peculiar Perspective. That I did, and that I always do. My big achievement in this value for the week was starting my new job at Starbucks. You can see in my last post why I’ve chosen a job like Starbucks when it meant rejecting multiple full-time offers. I’m excited about what being a barista means to me and the purpose that it’ll serve on my unique path. Stop by the store and pay us a visit. Lots of good tea-related promotions at the moment.
So… in short (even though none of that was short) I concluded that this week, I did very well in achieving my values, and that without even intending to, I set myself up to spend a year with this as one of my goals. When I look back at my college life, however, I see that my busiest and most stressful, now the most unmemorable weeks, were the weeks in which I did nothing to achieve my values. When all I did was go to class and run through the motions, I finished the week feeling like there was nothing achieved, gained, contributed or learned. It was an emptiness that I thought I couldn’t control, but now realize that I certainly can. I’m going to keep striving to define and achieve my values, a piece of this post-grad puzzle that seems it’ll be crucial to my success.
Biggest Takeaway This Week
More times than I could even count, I felt embarrassed this week. I felt ashamed to be spending time at Bentley, ashamed to be working in a coffee shop, ashamed to be walking or biking around town when everyone else had a car; ashamed to be doing something different than everyone else. I felt that anyone who wasn't reading my blog or hadn't heard my explanation was genuinely disappointed to see me "not doing much"; not being the great force in the world that everyone told me I'd someday be. I couldn't explain this to everyone, and I couldn't condense my whole reason for being into a teeny tiny elevator pitch that I could spew out every time I saw someone's face read of confusion or criticism. I was at a loss. I had to stop myself dead in my tracks, over and over again, reminding myself of what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. I thought long and hard about one of my all-time favorite Ted Talks, which if you haven't watched yet, you should definitely watch right this second. (I hyperlinked the 5-minute short version.) I came to the realization that when you understand and believe strongly and firmly enough in your own "WHY", you won't feel embarrassed, ashamed, or intimidated in the face of the critical and questioning why?s that you get from other people.
Biggest Takeaway This Week
More times than I could even count, I felt embarrassed this week. I felt ashamed to be spending time at Bentley, ashamed to be working in a coffee shop, ashamed to be walking or biking around town when everyone else had a car; ashamed to be doing something different than everyone else. I felt that anyone who wasn't reading my blog or hadn't heard my explanation was genuinely disappointed to see me "not doing much"; not being the great force in the world that everyone told me I'd someday be. I couldn't explain this to everyone, and I couldn't condense my whole reason for being into a teeny tiny elevator pitch that I could spew out every time I saw someone's face read of confusion or criticism. I was at a loss. I had to stop myself dead in my tracks, over and over again, reminding myself of what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. I thought long and hard about one of my all-time favorite Ted Talks, which if you haven't watched yet, you should definitely watch right this second. (I hyperlinked the 5-minute short version.) I came to the realization that when you understand and believe strongly and firmly enough in your own "WHY", you won't feel embarrassed, ashamed, or intimidated in the face of the critical and questioning why?s that you get from other people.
And last but not least, TOP 5 FEEL GOOD MOMENTS OF THE WEEK:
Stay tuned next week to see how my first week of work went, if I have a bed (still don't), and if we've turned our sandwich hobby into a food truck yet. Thanks for reading!
- When I found out that I got the job at Starbucks and notified some of my friends, one particular friend, Kathrine, insisted on taking me out for a celebratory meal. She's the kind of friend that takes the time to know what "success" means to you as an individual so that when you experience a success that most others wouldn't consider a big deal, she can be there to celebrate you.
- Went out for ice cream one night and ate at the table next to four tween-aged kids who laughed for a solid 40 minutes straight. I sincerely hope they don't ever grow out of that.
- Attended the first home football game of this season @ Bentley this weekend. It was incredible to watch all the amazing progress that has been made, ideas implemented, and morale changed since we brought a new team member (Steph) on board last semester.
- Shared back-to-back hugs with Bentley royalty: the President of Bentley, Gloria Larson, and the President of All Things Excellent, Barb Stevens.
- Engaged in some really reflective and inspiring conversations with a bunch of my younger friends and mentees who are spending this semester studying abroad. I feel like such a proud big sister, mom, and mentor!
Stay tuned next week to see how my first week of work went, if I have a bed (still don't), and if we've turned our sandwich hobby into a food truck yet. Thanks for reading!