Of the very few items that I brought with me to Miami, one was my beloved "Ask It Basket". Derived from an enlightening summer internship with Egg Strategy Chicago, the "Ask It Basket" is a container full of questions that make you think harder and share further. One of my favorite questions in the deck, though if we're being honest - they're all my favorite - is this: "What is a common misconception about you?"
Most often, my answer is about me giving off a "social but shallow" first impression, but this last time around, I thought a little harder for a new one. A common misconception about me is that I bounce around in life, from place to place, community to community, project to project, with no great reason to be doing so. I do, in fact, have a reason that I find completely reasonable, and from what someone told me this past week in conversation, perhaps a powerful perspective on "new life".
Similarly to the recent post about a Power Move Mentality, my "reasonable reason" for bouncing through life is yet another example of a way in which my brain processes life a bit differently. This mentality, though linked to Power Moves, isn't about Power Moves - it's about associations. Without even knowing it, we build associations between a specific location or environment and the behavior that supposedly matches it. This is why you hear people explaining that they can't "study in bed" or can't "get work done in a coffee shop" or can't "be productive at home" or can't "eat healthy at restaurants". They've built associations between location and behavior. In their mind, bed = relaxing, not studying. Coffee shop = socializing, not working. Home = decompressing, not productivity. Restaurant = indulgence, not moderation.
Typically, when you want to introduce or maintain a new behavior, you target an old one and attempt to replace it with a more ideal, new behavior. My brain, however, has somehow always opted for a different strategy; a "work smarter, not harder" life hack. Instead of trying to deconstruct one behavior and reconstruct another, I simply introduce a new environment, one that I've yet to establish a single behavioral association with. That way, when I put myself in that new place, with a thorough understanding of what I want to accomplish there, I begin building an immediate association, one that will surface and direct my behavior every single time I go back there, the same way I feel programmed to relax in bed, socialize at Starbucks, decompress at home, and indulge at a restaurant. I implement this strategy when I really need it, but find the ultimate opportunity to reinvent myself and my habits when I pick up my life from one location and move it to another.
You can imagine - I walked into my new life here in Miami, a series of places I'd never before been, with little to no behavioral associations previously built. I had and still have (because I haven't quite adjusted yet) an unimaginable amount of power to build associations here that look far different from those I had in Waltham, Mass. There, my bed was where I wasted my time on social media, my couch was where I binge-watched Cupcake Wars, Starbucks was where I socialized, and my kitchen was where I Facetimed all of my friends. I'd run out of usable environments before ever establishing positive behavioral associations, this being the reason I missed the mark on so many of my goals. I had no place for reflection, no place for gratitude, no place for creativity, and no place for passion projects. Here in Miami, however, I've already begun to change that.
I found a beautiful park just a mile away from my apartment and I've made it my place of reflection. I've never done anything there other than reflect, so every single weekend when I show up, my autopilot kicks in and tells me that I know exactly what behavior is appropriate here: reflection.
Most often, my answer is about me giving off a "social but shallow" first impression, but this last time around, I thought a little harder for a new one. A common misconception about me is that I bounce around in life, from place to place, community to community, project to project, with no great reason to be doing so. I do, in fact, have a reason that I find completely reasonable, and from what someone told me this past week in conversation, perhaps a powerful perspective on "new life".
Similarly to the recent post about a Power Move Mentality, my "reasonable reason" for bouncing through life is yet another example of a way in which my brain processes life a bit differently. This mentality, though linked to Power Moves, isn't about Power Moves - it's about associations. Without even knowing it, we build associations between a specific location or environment and the behavior that supposedly matches it. This is why you hear people explaining that they can't "study in bed" or can't "get work done in a coffee shop" or can't "be productive at home" or can't "eat healthy at restaurants". They've built associations between location and behavior. In their mind, bed = relaxing, not studying. Coffee shop = socializing, not working. Home = decompressing, not productivity. Restaurant = indulgence, not moderation.
Typically, when you want to introduce or maintain a new behavior, you target an old one and attempt to replace it with a more ideal, new behavior. My brain, however, has somehow always opted for a different strategy; a "work smarter, not harder" life hack. Instead of trying to deconstruct one behavior and reconstruct another, I simply introduce a new environment, one that I've yet to establish a single behavioral association with. That way, when I put myself in that new place, with a thorough understanding of what I want to accomplish there, I begin building an immediate association, one that will surface and direct my behavior every single time I go back there, the same way I feel programmed to relax in bed, socialize at Starbucks, decompress at home, and indulge at a restaurant. I implement this strategy when I really need it, but find the ultimate opportunity to reinvent myself and my habits when I pick up my life from one location and move it to another.
You can imagine - I walked into my new life here in Miami, a series of places I'd never before been, with little to no behavioral associations previously built. I had and still have (because I haven't quite adjusted yet) an unimaginable amount of power to build associations here that look far different from those I had in Waltham, Mass. There, my bed was where I wasted my time on social media, my couch was where I binge-watched Cupcake Wars, Starbucks was where I socialized, and my kitchen was where I Facetimed all of my friends. I'd run out of usable environments before ever establishing positive behavioral associations, this being the reason I missed the mark on so many of my goals. I had no place for reflection, no place for gratitude, no place for creativity, and no place for passion projects. Here in Miami, however, I've already begun to change that.
I found a beautiful park just a mile away from my apartment and I've made it my place of reflection. I've never done anything there other than reflect, so every single weekend when I show up, my autopilot kicks in and tells me that I know exactly what behavior is appropriate here: reflection.
I've made my bed a place of productivity. I made the conscious decision never to sit here unless I'm either setting, reviewing, or accomplishing my goals. I did this long enough that now, when I sit on my bed, I'm immediately in the mood to be productive.
As soon as I get some stools for my breakfast bar, I'll make that my place for passion projects. I'll sit there and write a book, sit there and learn photoshop, sit there and check items of my bucketlist, etc. All I'll have to do is sit in that particular seat and my passion-project-tendencies will surface.
This strategy has never once failed me, and as I continue to adjust to my new life here in Miami, I expect to see more and more environments introduced, followed by intentional behavioral associations built. I could easily have gone from the person I was to the person I'd always wished to be, all because I moved away to a bunch of places I'd never been. Try it!
As soon as I get some stools for my breakfast bar, I'll make that my place for passion projects. I'll sit there and write a book, sit there and learn photoshop, sit there and check items of my bucketlist, etc. All I'll have to do is sit in that particular seat and my passion-project-tendencies will surface.
This strategy has never once failed me, and as I continue to adjust to my new life here in Miami, I expect to see more and more environments introduced, followed by intentional behavioral associations built. I could easily have gone from the person I was to the person I'd always wished to be, all because I moved away to a bunch of places I'd never been. Try it!
FEEL GOOD MOMENTS OF THE WEEK
1. My sister finally got her beautiful pit bull baby, Luna! The constant flow of pictures have brought so much joy to my day (and the days of the people I obsessively show the pictures to.)
1. My sister finally got her beautiful pit bull baby, Luna! The constant flow of pictures have brought so much joy to my day (and the days of the people I obsessively show the pictures to.)
2. The City Year Fam and I chose to see MLK Day not as a "day off" but a "day on". We executed a huge beautification project at a nearby elementary school that needed work. We had nearly 1,000 people come out to help, over 50 beautification projects going on at the same time, and one really excellent day.
3. My roommate, Marissa, and I, after spending a few night homeless, a few more sleeping outside, a few more sleeping on the floor, a few more with out electricity, and finally just a few more without gas, have officially taken to the "scarce" way of living. With scarcity comes creativity. We made shower curtains out of recycled plastic, mastered the art of cutting blocks of cheese with floss instead of knives, and even have plans to spray paint our sneakers black in order to meet the dress code while on a budget.
4. Went exploring this past weekend and came across a few eager young girls selling lemonade and brownies to raise money for the nearby Humane Society. I had no cash on me at the time, but struck them a deal instead and ended up ordering a Square Card Reader for them to use at their next bake sale. #FutureBentleyStudents
5. Spent a good 20 minutes complaining about all the little kids that were populating the hot tub, and after a while, just decided to join them. As a result, I had one of the most entertaining and important conversations I'd had in a surprisingly long time. I have a feeling I'll continue seeing these kids at the pool over the course of my stay here in Design Place, and will hopefully manage to impact them the way I'll be impacting the lives of my students in school.
Tune in next time to see if our Food Stamps have been activated, if we've found a 3rd roommate to lower the rent, and if my bike-across-the-country-tanlines have decided to start going away yet. In the meantime, I'll be here building positive behavioral associations with these brand new environments.
Thanks for reading! Make it a great week.
4. Went exploring this past weekend and came across a few eager young girls selling lemonade and brownies to raise money for the nearby Humane Society. I had no cash on me at the time, but struck them a deal instead and ended up ordering a Square Card Reader for them to use at their next bake sale. #FutureBentleyStudents
5. Spent a good 20 minutes complaining about all the little kids that were populating the hot tub, and after a while, just decided to join them. As a result, I had one of the most entertaining and important conversations I'd had in a surprisingly long time. I have a feeling I'll continue seeing these kids at the pool over the course of my stay here in Design Place, and will hopefully manage to impact them the way I'll be impacting the lives of my students in school.
Tune in next time to see if our Food Stamps have been activated, if we've found a 3rd roommate to lower the rent, and if my bike-across-the-country-tanlines have decided to start going away yet. In the meantime, I'll be here building positive behavioral associations with these brand new environments.
Thanks for reading! Make it a great week.